I do still exist

I know it feels like I have fallen off the face of the universe but I do still exist. I had good intentions to update my blog a few weeks ago at the start of spring term but life happens and my blog didn't. Winter term just about did me in. Apparently winter term first year is the worst term in the masters of social work program. People told me this toward the begining of the term and I thought ok it has some tough assignments I will plan ahead. There was no room to plan ahead. I was always writing papers! I'm tempted to post my theory paper on ego psych just as a sample of the intensity of the papers I was cranking out last term. But I don't think anyone would really read it so why go to all the trouble. Sping Break was not much of a break for me either. By the time the last paper was in and I was done at my internship I had a few days to breath and then I started cooking to fulfill my calling for break the fast. I did enjoy spending time with my family and going over to the coast, but the reprive was short lived.
Spring term started and things looked a bit more managable. Then two weeks into the term there was an unexpected blow that knocked us down. My friend and classmate Paula died unexpectedly of heart failure. She had no history of heart problems and nothing to indicate trouble. She got a virus and told us she was sick as a dog and the next day she went to the doctor and ended up having heart failure in the doctors office. In the Portland State MSW program you have a generalist instructor and class of about 20 students who stay together for the whole first year of the program. So my generalist class is like a little support system of people all experience comiserating and relating to each other. We formed some strong bonds. Paula was also in a small group with me that started at the begining of winter term and our group formed an amazing friendship, in large part due to Paula's amazing warmth and big heart. Paula's death has been a struggle for our generalist class. It has been a unique experience dealing with death at the scholastic level. We basicaly had group therapy our first day back together, it was a unique and beautiful experience. Last week was an attempt at a transition back to classwork...but we didn't quite make it. I'm not sure how assignments for that class are going to go. The biggest project for this term was a group project and as my group involved Paula my group is the one most in limbo. So I feel like I'm playing catchup and trying to juggle and compartmentalize everything to manage. This too shall pass and soon I will be taking on a new internship and looking toward graduation. Spring term ends the first week of June and I'm looking forward to some time off. I plan to catch up on blogs and post some pictures and do fun stuff. Hopefully I will be able to pay a visit to Utah and see many dear friends. I am also really hoping for a family trip to Disneyland...hint hint (did that help mom?). I interview this weekend for my potential placement next year. I'm hoping to be placed at a hospital emergancy department! I'm excited about the opportunity and praying the interview goes well and I get the placement. Hope the sun has shined where ever you are. We had a brief bout of sunshine this last weekend and it was amazing. I will post pictures of my venture out at the tulip festival the next time I post.